The Grand Canyon—should be called “Crazy Big Canyon”

The Grand Canyon

In many ways, the word “grand” is overemphasized, especially in contemporary advertising. For instance, a Jeep Grand Cherokee doesn’t really convey sport utility vehicles on a “grand” scale. Nonetheless, the Grand Canyon is simply beyond “grand”—if a trendy advertising firm were to rename this gigantic hole in the ground to promote it for that ad-impressionable 18-34 age group, it would probably come up with something like “Crazy Big Ass Canyon.”

The Grand Canyon is impressive—indubitably the most awe-inspiring natural wonder I’ve seen on the face of the earth. There aren’t many geographical creations I can think of that may rival this 200+ mile canyon originally carved by the Colorado River. Perhaps the Great Barrier Reef off the coast of Australia? Or what about the Himalayas or the Northern Lights above Alaska and Canada? Maybe, but I have yet to visit and experience such natural phenomena.  I’ve been humbled by the myriad of peaks of the Rocky Mountains. Still, in terms of sheer massiveness and breathtaking-capability the Grand Canyon wins hands down. Don’t get me wrong, I am enamored with the mountain ruggedness, the isolation, and the jaw-dropping views atop Pike’s Peak or while driving along Independence Pass from Vail to Aspen. But while living on the edge of one of the highest mountains along one of the highest mountain ranges made me feel like I could touch the sky, the Grand Canyon almost had me believing I was on another planet.

Despite the previous description, Grand Canyon National Park is family-friendly. The Canyon is divided between the North and South Rims, the latter being more populated and accessible to more amenities. The North Rim is less populated, but also harder to reach: while the Canyon is roughly 10 miles wide as the crow flies, the trek to the North Rim would require another 500 miles just to get there. If we stayed a week then perhaps we would make the journey, but time is scarce so we’d thought we’d soak up as much as we could where we were. A simple shuttle system whisks patrons throughout the many points in the park. There’s a general store, a few gift shops (of course), lodging for those who are too accustomed to hotels, a few restaurants, and campgrounds for both tents and RVs. All of these accommodations are at or very close to the South Rim, the edge of the Canyon. We pitched our tent in the Mather Campground and roasted marshmallows over a fire while admiring the stars above the Arizona night sky. Don’t worry—Mather Campground is at least a mile away from the edge. We were in no danger of having our tent blow off the cliffs. However, someone did manage to drive their car into the Canyon the day before we arrived. I’ve witnessed the elderly drive cars into a bank and in a small conference hall, but I have no idea how someone managed that one. Melissa just told me it was suicide. Probably so.

The following day we sought the South Kaibab Trail, a steep trail that zigzags down the Canyon and reveals some mind-boggling views. We awoke at 5:30 in the morning to make the ranger-led hike by 7. As in Sedona, hiking in the middle of day is discouraged. The heat and lack of humidity make even the flattest, shortest hikes unbearable. The Rangers take great pains to make sure visitors heed this warning. In 2004 a 20-something Boston Marathoner hiked without adequate food and water and ended up dying of dehydration. Posters hung on doors and walls soberly conveyed the message that this wasn’t a ginger stroll through a Northeastern shady forest, so we heeded the warning and brought ample water and granola bars.

The three-mile hike was, while a walk-in-the-park in a shady flat forest, a bit more challenging when descending over 1000 feet. Ranger Will entertained our small group of some 20 hikers by stopping at various points and making volunteers wear geographically-related props. For example, one visitor wore a Hawaiian leu and read a faux-postcard from Oahu while Ranger Will described igneous rock formed by volcanic ash a few billion years ago. The wackiness almost made me forget that with a few short steps I could plunge thousands of feet down into the earth. Almost.

We reached our destination: Cedar Ridge. This shale-covered plateau brought us in the middle of the Canyon. Now we were surrounded by its depths. As we turned around and looked above, we could no longer see the trailhead from whence we started. In front of us were endless peaks and troughs as the canyon continued onward and disappeared in the horizon. It felt as if nature swallowed us and we were inescapably bound to its forces. I felt like Frodo in the middle of a tranquil Mordor and needed a ring to cast away. Melissa aptly said, “I feel like I am at the edge of the world.”

As we marched up the canyon and back to civilization, we felt why the Hopi called the Canyon Kaibab, which means “upside-down mountain.” The climb back to the South Rim was fairly rigorous and is not recommended for people who are not in decent health.  The National Park Service recommended at least 1-2 liters of water per person but I’m sure I drank more than that. In fact, as a general rule a hiker should encumber at least 1 liter per mile of hiking. We were in the desert, after all.

Arizona offered some remarkable treats. The night sky shone with stars that would not be visible in the Northeast, the Grand Canyon humbled us in saying that nature is still king of the earth, and one last treasure I will mention here. On our last day at 3:30pm, Melissa and I decided to listen to a ranger-led talk on the California condor. Only some 300 are left in the world and in 1996 about 70-75 were released in Grand Canyon National Park. These endangered birds of prey lay only one egg every other year, possess an average wingspan of 9 ½ feet, and sometimes can stand over 4 feet tall! In the middle of the talk, two condors were spotted flying along the edge of the rim. I was able to get a few close-up shots of these massive birds of prey.

Next we drive along I-40 to US-93 for a stay in Las Vegas, a completely different vacation experience.

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